what i have to say

its been a few days. since the day. that fateful day. the day u left. for real. u are gone. it was definitely not a merry xmas at all. all was too late. memories of everything keep running through my mind and it won't stop. u said u weren't feeling the same as before. not as happy as before. i blamed myself. i failed as a boyfriend. for 2 years + , 32 months i couldn't give you the happiness u wanted. you wanted to move on and seek your happiness, but wad im really heartbroken for is the other thing. i so wished it never happen. Forget and move on is what everyone says. but. it aint easy. seriously it hurts. my hearts still beats for u i know that. it still longs for your return. but like u and i said. it was all too late. that day when we exchanged probably the final gifts we have for each other, u were beautiful. i wanted to give u a final hug and a final goodbye. thank you for everything u have done for me and given me, u have been there for me and my family. but, knowing that one second longer i may lose control and break down. it will be uncontrollable. i didnt want that. we baded a quick goodbye and i left. i couldnt control it. i broke down. at the playground i sat, didnt know what to do. after regaining some energy, i looked at what u give me. upon opening up, i saw it and uncontrollably broke down once more. i was so touched for that. i just couldn't get into sleep. im starting to hate the night. i wake up early with u as my first thought and couldn't get to sleep after that. recounting all the things in the past, i have seriously regretted. i regret so much for not treasuring u enough not giving u the best and the feeling that you are my true love and happiness. after all we've been through, the good and the bad times, could only be memories. everywhere i go leave traces of our held hands and foot prints. it's hard to forgo u. who once and still is a part of me. but for now, it will be only me, no more us. to me, u seemed strong. and suprisingly made me feel sad. for now, is living one day as it is. i will certainly remember u for the rest of my life. u made such a great impact in me. noone can replace u. never. im still living each day miserably. i know i needa recover from this soon. i sincerely wish u all the best. even though i know i cant bear to part with you. our wonderful L&L story ends here.