30/12/08

yesterday. hmm. met wilfred in the afternoon went around town to chill out and talk. he bought me a present from hk. a lollipop. nevertheless thank u. haha. went walk around and decided to watch bedtime stories. it was quite weird when 2 guys go to the movies. damn. the movie was quite funny. after that went clarke quay to have our dinner. after that decided to go wilfred's house get his pimped up getz out for a spin. very soon we were on our way to east coast park with the car. it felt damn nice driving it with the superb ICE systems. at east coast i heard the song "always be my baby" by david cook at McCafe. afternoon i heard the mariah carey version. haha seems like it's playing out on me. after that was don't love you no more by craig david. damn. after that went kallang kfc and met tiger. we chilled out till 3 plus and went home. thanks to wilfred for ur time and car man. and tiger for sending me home. =)

for the past few nights i have been sleeping around 4 plus at least. a million thanks to tiger and trey for being there for me. and esp tiger who ferries me in his car to yishun dam for a talk and consoling session almost every night.

talking to you just make makes me feel all so heartbroken again. u once asked wad do i see in us in 2 years time, i know i didnt give a good ans, not an ans u want to hear. but i think further than that. i planned for our lifetime already. but it was too late.

what i have to say

its been a few days. since the day. that fateful day. the day u left. for real. u are gone. it was definitely not a merry xmas at all. all was too late. memories of everything keep running through my mind and it won't stop. u said u weren't feeling the same as before. not as happy as before. i blamed myself. i failed as a boyfriend. for 2 years + , 32 months i couldn't give you the happiness u wanted. you wanted to move on and seek your happiness, but wad im really heartbroken for is the other thing. i so wished it never happen. Forget and move on is what everyone says. but. it aint easy. seriously it hurts. my hearts still beats for u i know that. it still longs for your return. but like u and i said. it was all too late. that day when we exchanged probably the final gifts we have for each other, u were beautiful. i wanted to give u a final hug and a final goodbye. thank you for everything u have done for me and given me, u have been there for me and my family. but, knowing that one second longer i may lose control and break down. it will be uncontrollable. i didnt want that. we baded a quick goodbye and i left. i couldnt control it. i broke down. at the playground i sat, didnt know what to do. after regaining some energy, i looked at what u give me. upon opening up, i saw it and uncontrollably broke down once more. i was so touched for that. i just couldn't get into sleep. im starting to hate the night. i wake up early with u as my first thought and couldn't get to sleep after that. recounting all the things in the past, i have seriously regretted. i regret so much for not treasuring u enough not giving u the best and the feeling that you are my true love and happiness. after all we've been through, the good and the bad times, could only be memories. everywhere i go leave traces of our held hands and foot prints. it's hard to forgo u. who once and still is a part of me. but for now, it will be only me, no more us. to me, u seemed strong. and suprisingly made me feel sad. for now, is living one day as it is. i will certainly remember u for the rest of my life. u made such a great impact in me. noone can replace u. never. im still living each day miserably. i know i needa recover from this soon. i sincerely wish u all the best. even though i know i cant bear to part with you. our wonderful L&L story ends here.

first post

i started this blog so that i can reveal what my heart wants to say.